Comments on: Autism Support and Child Cancer Services: Some Similarities http://humans.org.nz/2008/01/04/autism-support-and-child-cancer-services-some-similarities/ A website to advocate, provide a voice, stimulate policy debate and provide essential information to people on the autistic spectrum and their friends and families. Fri, 23 Jul 2010 01:14:39 +1200 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Hilary http://humans.org.nz/2008/01/04/autism-support-and-child-cancer-services-some-similarities/comment-page-1/#comment-497 Hilary Sat, 11 Jul 2009 08:02:01 +0000 http://humans.org.nz/2008/01/04/autism-support-and-child-cancer-services-some-similarities/#comment-497 Luris, you have had a really tough time, and I'm sure there are many people who can relate to your desire to protect your autistic son. This website is based in New Zealand, so I'm not familiar with what is available to help you in the US as we have a different child protection system. We have women's refuges which support women through such traumatic custody issues, and some strong legislation to protect children. I hope you can find some good support for yourself and your son. Luris, you have had a really tough time, and I’m sure there are many people who can relate to your desire to protect your autistic son. This website is based in New Zealand, so I’m not familiar with what is available to help you in the US as we have a different child protection system. We have women’s refuges which support women through such traumatic custody issues, and some strong legislation to protect children. I hope you can find some good support for yourself and your son.

]]> By: Luris Velez http://humans.org.nz/2008/01/04/autism-support-and-child-cancer-services-some-similarities/comment-page-1/#comment-496 Luris Velez Sat, 11 Jul 2009 02:34:46 +0000 http://humans.org.nz/2008/01/04/autism-support-and-child-cancer-services-some-similarities/#comment-496 To whom it may concerns: First of all, I'd like to thank you for taking the opportunity and time to read my email, whose contents are those of urgent and immediate attention. My name is Luris Velez, I'm a 24 year old single mom of a 3 year old autistic son. I currently live with my mom and stepdad in Tobyhanna, PA (Pocono Country Place). My situation is this: I am divorced from my son's father due to the domestic violence I endured for over a year from his hands. He used to beat me even while I was pregnant with his son. Not to mention the fact that his beatings caused the life of the first child I was expecting with him (that pregnancy being the main reason why I had to marry him in the first place). I stayed with him after that occurred not because I wanted to, but because of his threats of killing me and my family if I ever left him. This, as you may already know, isnt unusual in domestic violence cases, where the woman stays with the man for the same reasons. The situation quickly became a nightmare, as I feared for my life every second of each day. I was practically a prisinor in my own home, meaning I had strict orders from my husband on who I could talk to, for how long and he had to be present for each conversation or had to be in a place where he could hear the contents of my conversations. If something was said he didnt approve of, a severe punishment was deemed to follow. He had to be everywhere I was-in the bathroom, in the kitchen, etc. He didnt want to work because he didnt want me to be alone, but then had to since my mom put her foot down and told him he had to work because she wasnt going to have him live in her home and not contribute to the bills. So he found a job not even 5 minutes from where I lived, in a supermarket. Each day he'd call 4 or 5 times to check on me, came to the house during his lunch hour and even had other employees from his job drive around the house to see if I was there or if anyone else was there with me. What was worse, was the fact that he'd force me to have sex with him whenever he wanted and however many times he wanted, even if I didnt and trust me I never did want to. How could I possibly sleep with someone who did what he did to me? He also claimed he was too much of a man to use condoms and so he never did. Even so, I didnt understand his anger when I got pregnant a second time, since he wasnt using protection and didnt allow me to use any either. He was shocked and extremely upset. This time, he told me he wasnt going to kill my unborn child right way. He planned to either kill it when I was more far long, knowing it'd hurt me more once the baby had started to grow, having heard its heartbeats and feeling its movements or he'd disappear with the baby once it was born if I left him during my pregnancy. He'd torture me mentally each time I went to my obgyn, telling me maybe the baby was going to be found dead during the sonogram or be found to be missing an arm, leg, fingers, etc. I honestly was scared to go to my appointments and dreaded the sonograms, but was always relieved when the sonogram was done and I was able to see my baby moving, its heart beating, developing normally. He'd be visibly upset during and after my appointments, telling me my joy over my baby's healthy development would be short lived since he'd plan to do something to it. This almost became a reality in my 4th month when he took a blade and proceeded to try and cut my stomach from left to right (he said it was a csection) but I quickly jumped back and no severe damage was done. I still have the scar from that incident though. Afterwards, I knew I quickly had to get out from this hell. I wasnt about to lose a second child to him. I turned to my mom for help, who already suspected something was going on. She'd always see me with bruises and asked me about them. I, of course, being under threats, told her it was nothing, that I had fallen down and hurt myself. She was never convinced and begged me to tell her the truth. I never did. She'd tell me she wanted to call the cops to escort my husband from the house and I begged her not to, knowing the threats he'd given me of killing me if I ever left him or put him in jail for what he was doing to me. My mom always knew what was happening even though I denied it to her. She didnt call the cops not only because I begged her not to, but because I told her I'd deny everything to the cops and therefore, nothing could be done. But I was the one who truly knew that in order to save my son I had to gain courage and throw him out, and I did. I waited for the moment where my mom was home. I told him to get out. He did leave, not before he threw me against the wall and almost made me fall to the ground on my back. Once he left, I went with my mom to the police station, where I received an order of a protection and a order for arrest was placed for him. He was arrested 2 days later in his job but being to the fact that he had no prior record, the government bailed him out. The case against him for domestic violence lasted over a year due to the fact that his lawyer kept delaying the case, giving excuses as to why they werent prepared for the case or why they couldnt be in court during those days, etc. Even so, he was found guilty of domestic violence and given 1 year of probation, which consisted of group therapies every week and that was it.. He finished probation, supposedly extremely well. The divorce case was also going on along with the domestic violence case. The same set of events that happened with the domestic violence case occured with this one, also lasting about a year. I was finally divorced (my son was already born when I was divorced) and I was given sole custody, and his father was given supervised visits on alternate saturdays, 1 hour each time, in an office with social workers. I had to leave my son with unknown people twice a month, where he clearly didnt want to stay. He'd always stay crying and when that would occur, the social workers would angrily grab him from my arms and tell me to get out before his father would get there. When I would return to pick up my son, he'd be dirty from head to toe, his shoes would be off with his socks completely dirty, he'd have scratches, bruises, red eyes from having been crying so much. When I asked the social workers the reasons why my son was returned to me in these conditions they would answer sarcastically, almost in a threatening manner, telling me they couldnt be watching my son all the time, basically they werent there to babysit but to just sit there and watch father and son interact, and that the bruises and scratches were from my son playing with his father. When I asked what would happen if I were to leave my son there with either a bruise and a scratch and they told me they immediately would withhold him, report me to social services, obviously have me arrested for child abuse and custody would ultimately go to his father. I couldnt believe what I was hearing-If I left him in those conditions, my son would be taken from me, but if he was returned to me after having been with his father, nothing could be done. To my face, they would tell me they simply didnt care how I felt or wanted to do. Things quickly turned to worse during one of the visits when I went to pick up my son. I saw that they brought him to me with an icepack to his head. When asked what happened, they told me he slipped and fell from playing with his father, but that it wasnt nothing to worry about. This time I wasnt simply going to let this one pass by, since it wasnt his first bump on the head, there was at least one more. The last one wasnt that bad, but this one looked really bad. He had a bump sticking out from the side of his head. I immediately told them I was going to take him to his pediatrician, and they didnt tell me much, just to let him know what the doctor said. Since, it was a saturday, his doctor wasnt in the office, but I called him. He asked me if my son was conscious, throwing up etc. I told him he was conscious but no vomiting had occured. He told me to give him some tylenol and bring him into his office that monday, but if he vomited, to take him to the ER immediately. He was pretty much out of it during the day, but when I put him to sleep, about 5 minutes later, he woke up throwing up and I immediately ran with him to the ER. The doctor there ran some tests, and results were that my son had a minor concussion (I have the hospital report if you need to see it). I call the social workers, sent them the report, but they pretty much disregarded it. Told me all kids get hurt, and that I was NOT to use that as an excuse to ask the judge to suspend the visits. Here I was again being threatened for the simple fact that I was trying to defend my son from the irresponible people who were supposed to be there to watch my son not let him get hurt because he needs to interact with his father. To run things a bit quickly here-my sons visits with his father was reevaluated (I'm not really sure of the exact date, but I will look for it if information is needed) to see if they were to be continued as they were, supervised, or unsupervised, longer visits, meaning alternate weekends, OVERNIGHT. Again as I tried to explain my fears, such as the biggest fear I had of my ex husband making good on his threat of kidnapping and disappearing with the baby as a revenge towards me, the social worker just laughed in my face, told me he wouldnt do that and proceeded to ask if I was under psychiatric help because comments like that would in the end make me lose custody of my son. She looked at me very firmly and threatened me by saying just that, if I kept making those untrue comments, both herself and the judge would see me as uncomtempt at being a mother and would take custody from me. I couldnt believe that not even the social worker would understand how I felt, knowing that hundreds of cases similar to mine, had the same circumstances and an unfavorable outcome where the father made true on his threat of kidnapping or killing his child and then forcing the dept of families to take charge AFTER a tragedy like that happened. Only a tragedy made these people change their minds and say, oh the mother was right, she wasnt crazy, etc. I could NOT, will NOT, and wont EVER, standby and wait for this to happen to me. I was desperate (and still am) because everything I tried to do in defense of my son I was shot back with threats of losing custody. I still to this day dont think defending my son is grounds for losing custody and I also know that the social workers, judge, the whole court system has treated me and still is, in an unprofessional manner. I dont think its a moral value for people who have a job in defense of children to go around threating their parents this way or treating their parents this way. After this meeting, I knew I had to find a way to get out of PR in order to prevent my son from having to spend weekends with his father, a stranger to him who doesnt care for him. Who is only a revenge motive for him. I hired a lawyer to help me with all this-custody and divorce. He had been recommended by my family who had used him for prior cases and swore to me he was an excellent lawyer, I trusted their judgement. I was told that in order for me to leave PR to go to US I had to inform the courts in PR first before leaving and they would ask the father if he had a problem with me leaving. If he said no, then the court would give a date for a hearing in order for me to explain my reasons for moving; of course I couldnt say because I wanted to save my son or that I didnt want my ex husband to come near my son. Instead I would say (which was true ) that my financial situtation in PR wasnt good, my stepdad had lost his job and found one in new york (where was were we all lived before, and where I grew up) and he had gone ahead of us to try and set up living arrangements for us, my mom also was without a job due to health issues (carpal tunnel syndrome, among others) she had to have surgery but the doctors in PR werent doing much for her, she didnt have a private health insurance, just the government one and the doctors from there werent good and she knew she could receive the needed treatment in the US;also the fact I lived with them, depended on them, was unemployed and really had no place to live in in the event my parents moved to US without me., not to mention the fact I was born in Bronx, NY, grew up in NY, main language was english-all favorable to me moving back to US. But my lawyer told me since we both knew my exhusband was going to put up a fight and not let me leave, not to inform the court of my plans, to leave and as soon as I had the address to my new residence, he'd inform the court and reasons for leaving. I did exaclty that, not knowing that this would lead to bigger trouble in the future. I first moved back to NJ, and as soon as I left PR, the real war began. My exhusband started submitting motions to the court saying I kidnapped his son, wanted me arrested, wanted full custody of my son, etc. He went on to say he wasnt informed of my move and supposedly went to the area of where the supervised visits with my son took place in PR, waited the full hour and left when I didnt show up. He then supposedly asked the social worker there (who already knew of my move but pretended to go along with him and say she didnt know either) if itw was true, she said she didnt know and would call my lawyer to find out. This was all lies, because my lawyer submitted a motion to the court informing them of what I had done, and on that motion, were the addresses of where the motion was sent-to the social worker, to my ex husband, to my ex husbands lawyer and the judge. He submiited a motion saying he had no knowledge of my move, the contradicted himself in second one he submitted saying he was informed but just wanted to make sure it was true. I guess the judge disregarded it because she didnt do anything. She also disregarded his claims of kidnapping and having me arrested. I figured my lawyer was handiling the case to the best of his will. I had to move from that apartment a while later because since we moved to the 3rd floor of the building, the tenant downstairs kept complaining to the landlord that we were making alot of noise, that she could hear the baby running around. We told the landlord that any noise we were to make at that point would sound louder to her because we recently moved there and we had no furniture yet since the moving company still hadnt brought our stuff. But the landlord told us she was complaining too much and we had to move. So a friend of my stepdad at work was renting a 2 bedroom apartment and gave it to us. It was going to be a temporary residence because we were looking to buy a house, where my son would have his own room, I would have my own room and my parents have their own room. We moved a few days later, but the trouble with my ex kept escalating. He kept saying he was afraid his son wasnt in liveable conditions, wanted to make sure I was taking good care of him and I guess the judge believed his claims because she ordered a home study to be done at my house by a social worker. We passed the home study with flying colors. I want to fast forward to my current urgent situation-My ex is one who wont leave me alone. Right now his main source of power to get to me is through my son. He's constantly in court submitting motions that I'm abusing my son, that my sons current diagnosis of autism isnt true that I'm making it up to keep him away from my son (even though Ive submitted all the paperwork from his therapists and doctors to the court)-It's really getting out of hand. I recently found out his current motion was submitted June 9, 2009 stating the above among other false accusations. His lawyer has resigned the case and he submitted that motion representing himself. My lawyer is trying to get the judge to overturn her order for this month july 22-aug. 1 of my son staying overnight with his father due to the fact that my son doesnt know him and that when he did spend 5 days with him in april, his autism worsened, he lost weight, aggressiveness has escalated. But she says it will be an uphill battle because my ex lawyer basically turned me against the judge, and to the judge I'm the one who has been going against her orders and my ex is the saint who does everything she says and is the model father. I'm not asking for his parental rights to be terminated-I know thats not possible but all I want is to save my son from anymore trauma, to make the judge believe me and take into consideration whats happened. I cant and wont let my son be put into further trauma simply because dad has to see him. I want transition. For my son to see his father a few days during those 9 days I have to be in PR and not stay overnight with him. I need to have someone to make that judge listen. We're not dealing with a normal 3 year old; instead we're dealing a 3 yr old autistic boy, who doesnt talk, doesnt know how to defend himself, who shouldnt be looked as another case number, another custody battle, another revenge tool for a man to use against his ex wife who he himself abused for a year and who he cant physically abuse now and wants to have power, control over her through the child. I do believe that the judge is breaking some sort of moral rule going against medical orders, medical statements from not only 1 person, but from many therapists, many doctors, psychologists. I cannot just sit here and wait her to decide whether to belive me or not than decide the possible welfare and emotional state she deems necessary for a special needs child. If she wont listen to me or if she just doesnt want to bother with my case anymore, I want someone of some higher authority to MAKE her listen before a tragedy occurs. I beg and implore you to help me. I will do whatever it takes to save my son. Thank you for your time & I hope to hear back from you at your earliest convenience. Luris Velez To whom it may concerns: First of all, I’d like to thank you for taking the opportunity and time to read my email, whose contents are those of urgent and immediate attention. My name is Luris Velez, I’m a 24 year old single mom of a 3 year old autistic son. I currently live with my mom and stepdad in Tobyhanna, PA (Pocono Country Place). My situation is this: I am divorced from my son’s father due to the domestic violence I endured for over a year from his hands. He used to beat me even while I was pregnant with his son. Not to mention the fact that his beatings caused the life of the first child I was expecting with him (that pregnancy being the main reason why I had to marry him in the first place). I stayed with him after that occurred not because I wanted to, but because of his threats of killing me and my family if I ever left him. This, as you may already know, isnt unusual in domestic violence cases, where the woman stays with the man for the same reasons. The situation quickly became a nightmare, as I feared for my life every second of each day. I was practically a prisinor in my own home, meaning I had strict orders from my husband on who I could talk to, for how long and he had to be present for each conversation or had to be in a place where he could hear the contents of my conversations. If something was said he didnt approve of, a severe punishment was deemed to follow. He had to be everywhere I was-in the bathroom, in the kitchen, etc. He didnt want to work because he didnt want me to be alone, but then had to since my mom put her foot down and told him he had to work because she wasnt going to have him live in her home and not contribute to the bills. So he found a job not even 5 minutes from where I lived, in a supermarket. Each day he’d call 4 or 5 times to check on me, came to the house during his lunch hour and even had other employees from his job drive around the house to see if I was there or if anyone else was there with me.
What was worse, was the fact that he’d force me to have sex with him whenever he wanted and however many times he wanted, even if I didnt and trust me I never did want to. How could I possibly sleep with someone who did what he did to me? He also claimed he was too much of a man to use condoms and so he never did. Even so, I didnt understand his anger when I got pregnant a second time, since he wasnt using protection and didnt allow me to use any either. He was shocked and extremely upset. This time, he told me he wasnt going to kill my unborn child right way. He planned to either kill it when I was more far long, knowing it’d hurt me more once the baby had started to grow, having heard its heartbeats and feeling its movements or he’d disappear with the baby once it was born if I left him during my pregnancy. He’d torture me mentally each time I went to my obgyn, telling me maybe the baby was going to be found dead during the sonogram or be found to be missing an arm, leg, fingers, etc. I honestly was scared to go to my appointments and dreaded the sonograms, but was always relieved when the sonogram was done and I was able to see my baby moving, its heart beating, developing normally. He’d be visibly upset during and after my appointments, telling me my joy over my baby’s healthy development would be short lived since he’d plan to do something to it. This almost became a reality in my 4th month when he took a blade and proceeded to try and cut my stomach from left to right (he said it was a csection) but I quickly jumped back and no severe damage was done. I still have the scar from that incident though. Afterwards, I knew I quickly had to get out from this hell. I wasnt about to lose a second child to him.
I turned to my mom for help, who already suspected something was going on. She’d always see me with bruises and asked me about them. I, of course, being under threats, told her it was nothing, that I had fallen down and hurt myself. She was never convinced and begged me to tell her the truth. I never did. She’d tell me she wanted to call the cops to escort my husband from the house and I begged her not to, knowing the threats he’d given me of killing me if I ever left him or put him in jail for what he was doing to me. My mom always knew what was happening even though I denied it to her. She didnt call the cops not only because I begged her not to, but because I told her I’d deny everything to the cops and therefore, nothing could be done. But I was the one who truly knew that in order to save my son I had to gain courage and throw him out, and I did. I waited for the moment where my mom was home. I told him to get out. He did leave, not before he threw me against the wall and almost made me fall to the ground on my back. Once he left, I went with my mom to the police station, where I received an order of a protection and a order for arrest was placed for him. He was arrested 2 days later in his job but being to the fact that he had no prior record, the government bailed him out. The case against him for domestic violence lasted over a year due to the fact that his lawyer kept delaying the case, giving excuses as to why they werent prepared for the case or why they couldnt be in court during those days, etc. Even so, he was found guilty of domestic violence and given 1 year of probation, which consisted of group therapies every week and that was it.. He finished probation, supposedly extremely well.
The divorce case was also going on along with the domestic violence case. The same set of events that happened with the domestic violence case occured with this one, also lasting about a year. I was finally divorced (my son was already born when I was divorced) and I was given sole custody, and his father was given supervised visits on alternate saturdays, 1 hour each time, in an office with social workers. I had to leave my son with unknown people twice a month, where he clearly didnt want to stay. He’d always stay crying and when that would occur, the social workers would angrily grab him from my arms and tell me to get out before his father would get there. When I would return to pick up my son, he’d be dirty from head to toe, his shoes would be off with his socks completely dirty, he’d have scratches, bruises, red eyes from having been crying so much. When I asked the social workers the reasons why my son was returned to me in these conditions they would answer sarcastically, almost in a threatening manner, telling me they couldnt be watching my son all the time, basically they werent there to babysit but to just sit there and watch father and son interact, and that the bruises and scratches were from my son playing with his father. When I asked what would happen if I were to leave my son there with either a bruise and a scratch and they told me they immediately would withhold him, report me to social services, obviously have me arrested for child abuse and custody would ultimately go to his father. I couldnt believe what I was hearing-If I left him in those conditions, my son would be taken from me, but if he was returned to me after having been with his father, nothing could be done. To my face, they would tell me they simply didnt care how I felt or wanted to do.
Things quickly turned to worse during one of the visits when I went to pick up my son. I saw that they brought him to me with an icepack to his head. When asked what happened, they told me he slipped and fell from playing with his father, but that it wasnt nothing to worry about. This time I wasnt simply going to let this one pass by, since it wasnt his first bump on the head, there was at least one more. The last one wasnt that bad, but this one looked really bad. He had a bump sticking out from the side of his head. I immediately told them I was going to take him to his pediatrician, and they didnt tell me much, just to let him know what the doctor said. Since, it was a saturday, his doctor wasnt in the office, but I called him. He asked me if my son was conscious, throwing up etc. I told him he was conscious but no vomiting had occured. He told me to give him some tylenol and bring him into his office that monday, but if he vomited, to take him to the ER immediately. He was pretty much out of it during the day, but when I put him to sleep, about 5 minutes later, he woke up throwing up and I immediately ran with him to the ER. The doctor there ran some tests, and results were that my son had a minor concussion (I have the hospital report if you need to see it). I call the social workers, sent them the report, but they pretty much disregarded it. Told me all kids get hurt, and that I was NOT to use that as an excuse to ask the judge to suspend the visits. Here I was again being threatened for the simple fact that I was trying to defend my son from the irresponible people who were supposed to be there to watch my son not let him get hurt because he needs to interact with his father.
To run things a bit quickly here-my sons visits with his father was reevaluated (I’m not really sure of the exact date, but I will look for it if information is needed) to see if they were to be continued as they were, supervised, or unsupervised, longer visits, meaning alternate weekends, OVERNIGHT. Again as I tried to explain my fears, such as the biggest fear I had of my ex husband making good on his threat of kidnapping and disappearing with the baby as a revenge towards me, the social worker just laughed in my face, told me he wouldnt do that and proceeded to ask if I was under psychiatric help because comments like that would in the end make me lose custody of my son. She looked at me very firmly and threatened me by saying just that, if I kept making those untrue comments, both herself and the judge would see me as uncomtempt at being a mother and would take custody from me. I couldnt believe that not even the social worker would understand how I felt, knowing that hundreds of cases similar to mine, had the same circumstances and an unfavorable outcome where the father made true on his threat of kidnapping or killing his child and then forcing the dept of families to take charge AFTER a tragedy like that happened. Only a tragedy made these people change their minds and say, oh the mother was right, she wasnt crazy, etc. I could NOT, will NOT, and wont EVER, standby and wait for this to happen to me. I was desperate (and still am) because everything I tried to do in defense of my son I was shot back with threats of losing custody. I still to this day dont think defending my son is grounds for losing custody and I also know that the social workers, judge, the whole court system has treated me and still is, in an unprofessional manner. I dont think its a moral value for people who have a job in defense of children to go around threating their parents this way or treating their parents this way.
After this meeting, I knew I had to find a way to get out of PR in order to prevent my son from having to spend weekends with his father, a stranger to him who doesnt care for him. Who is only a revenge motive for him. I hired a lawyer to help me with all this-custody and divorce. He had been recommended by my family who had used him for prior cases and swore to me he was an excellent lawyer, I trusted their judgement. I was told that in order for me to leave PR to go to US I had to inform the courts in PR first before leaving and they would ask the father if he had a problem with me leaving. If he said no, then the court would give a date for a hearing in order for me to explain my reasons for moving; of course I couldnt say because I wanted to save my son or that I didnt want my ex husband to come near my son. Instead I would say (which was true ) that my financial situtation in PR wasnt good, my stepdad had lost his job and found one in new york (where was were we all lived before, and where I grew up) and he had gone ahead of us to try and set up living arrangements for us, my mom also was without a job due to health issues (carpal tunnel syndrome, among others) she had to have surgery but the doctors in PR werent doing much for her, she didnt have a private health insurance, just the government one and the doctors from there werent good and she knew she could receive the needed treatment in the US;also the fact I lived with them, depended on them, was unemployed and really had no place to live in in the event my parents moved to US without me., not to mention the fact I was born in Bronx, NY, grew up in NY, main language was english-all favorable to me moving back to US. But my lawyer told me since we both knew my exhusband was going to put up a fight and not let me leave, not to inform the court of my plans, to leave and as soon as I had the address to my new residence, he’d inform the court and reasons for leaving. I did exaclty that, not knowing that this would lead to bigger trouble in the future.
I first moved back to NJ, and as soon as I left PR, the real war began. My exhusband started submitting motions to the court saying I kidnapped his son, wanted me arrested, wanted full custody of my son, etc. He went on to say he wasnt informed of my move and supposedly went to the area of where the supervised visits with my son took place in PR, waited the full hour and left when I didnt show up. He then supposedly asked the social worker there (who already knew of my move but pretended to go along with him and say she didnt know either) if itw was true, she said she didnt know and would call my lawyer to find out. This was all lies, because my lawyer submitted a motion to the court informing them of what I had done, and on that motion, were the addresses of where the motion was sent-to the social worker, to my ex husband, to my ex husbands lawyer and the judge. He submiited a motion saying he had no knowledge of my move, the contradicted himself in second one he submitted saying he was informed but just wanted to make sure it was true. I guess the judge disregarded it because she didnt do anything. She also disregarded his claims of kidnapping and having me arrested. I figured my lawyer was handiling the case to the best of his will.
I had to move from that apartment a while later because since we moved to the 3rd floor of the building, the tenant downstairs kept complaining to the landlord that we were making alot of noise, that she could hear the baby running around. We told the landlord that any noise we were to make at that point would sound louder to her because we recently moved there and we had no furniture yet since the moving company still hadnt brought our stuff. But the landlord told us she was complaining too much and we had to move. So a friend of my stepdad at work was renting a 2 bedroom apartment and gave it to us. It was going to be a temporary residence because we were looking to buy a house, where my son would have his own room, I would have my own room and my parents have their own room. We moved a few days later, but the trouble with my ex kept escalating. He kept saying he was afraid his son wasnt in liveable conditions, wanted to make sure I was taking good care of him and I guess the judge believed his claims because she ordered a home study to be done at my house by a social worker. We passed the home study with flying colors.
I want to fast forward to my current urgent situation-My ex is one who wont leave me alone. Right now his main source of power to get to me is through my son. He’s constantly in court submitting motions that I’m abusing my son, that my sons current diagnosis of autism isnt true that I’m making it up to keep him away from my son (even though Ive submitted all the paperwork from his therapists and doctors to the court)-It’s really getting out of hand.
I recently found out his current motion was submitted June 9, 2009 stating the above among other false accusations. His lawyer has resigned the case and he submitted that motion representing himself.
My lawyer is trying to get the judge to overturn her order for this month july 22-aug. 1 of my son staying overnight with his father due to the fact that my son doesnt know him and that when he did spend 5 days with him in april, his autism worsened, he lost weight, aggressiveness has escalated. But she says it will be an uphill battle because my ex lawyer basically turned me against the judge, and to the judge I’m the one who has been going against her orders and my ex is the saint who does everything she says and is the model father.
I’m not asking for his parental rights to be terminated-I know thats not possible but all I want is to save my son from anymore trauma, to make the judge believe me and take into consideration whats happened. I cant and wont let my son be put into further trauma simply because dad has to see him. I want transition. For my son to see his father a few days during those 9 days I have to be in PR and not stay overnight with him. I need to have someone to make that judge listen. We’re not dealing with a normal 3 year old; instead we’re dealing a 3 yr old autistic boy, who doesnt talk, doesnt know how to defend himself, who shouldnt be looked as another case number, another custody battle, another revenge tool for a man to use against his ex wife who he himself abused for a year and who he cant physically abuse now and wants to have power, control over her through the child.
I do believe that the judge is breaking some sort of moral rule going against medical orders, medical statements from not only 1 person, but from many therapists, many doctors, psychologists. I cannot just sit here and wait her to decide whether to belive me or not than decide the possible welfare and emotional state she deems necessary for a special needs child. If she wont listen to me or if she just doesnt want to bother with my case anymore, I want someone of some higher authority to MAKE her listen before a tragedy occurs.
I beg and implore you to help me. I will do whatever it takes to save my son.

Thank you for your time & I hope to hear back from you at your earliest convenience.

Luris Velez

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