Stories: Mary Browne
I am writing this story as a cautionary tale of what can happen.
I am a woman with Asperger’s Syndrome, aged 41 and living in Christchurch NZ. My whole life story would take too long to tell, and is all very sad. I am on the Invalid Benefit, having other health issues as well, and I reckon that I and others like me are treated very badly in this country, forced onto this tiny benefit and treated like it is our fault. I was born like this, and I reckon it was due to chemical exposure one of my parents suffered (but I’m not allowed to say too much for legal reasons). I still have to live with my parents as rents are too much, you are not allowed pets, and group homes expect you to be physically well and able to work. This leads to more and more friction.
Five months ago, my father and I got it into our heads that we needed an easy to heat, easier to care for unit, as opposed to the dilapidated house we previously had in Sydenham. The agent persuaded us we could only get $180,000, when, looking back, the house is on valuable L3 land, and was worth a lot more. We bought a unit out in Bromley for $200,000, using $20,000 of my life savings (from living at home and not spending on myself).
The unit was the biggest mistake of our lives! It is nowhere near the shops, when I can’t drive, the main road (Pages Rd) is impossible for me to cross, and I have lost my independence. We argue every day, as we are jammed into a tiny space. After 22 days, we are considering putting it on the market! I was especially worried when I found out we’d only get $180,000 for the unit! How on earth will we ever get another cottage close into the city on reasonable sized land? My mother is saying no Linwood, which isn’t surprising, as Eastgate and its huge shops are too physically tiring for her or me to get around. My mother has lost her independence too, being unable to back down the drive or walk to the bus stop.
I wish there were safeguards to stop vulnerable people like us from getting taken for a ride. We have enough to put up with. I hope to write again in a few months with a happier story – of having a cottage in Sydenham – and not minding peeling paint, weeds or spiders – and having bought the precious plants my mother lost. I hope the social services recognise my need for space and closeness to town and good shopping, and actually help me with things like the garden, rubbish removal (you often can’t burn garden rubbish in Chch) etc.
Philip wrote on December 5th, 2008 at 5:04 pm:
You know, I often wonder why it is so easy for people like me, with unique physical function (aka physical disability), to access support to perform physical tasks, and so difficult for people with other forms of unique function – cognitive, perceptual etc (aka autism, Aspergers, for example) – to access support for non-physical tasks, like managing household issues, decision-making etc. I think it highlights a huge gap in thinking and understanding on the part of people in the disability support bureaucracy, in particular needs assessment agencies.
Hilary wrote on December 5th, 2008 at 8:07 pm:
Thanks, Mary, for sharing this. It is great to have some new voices on this site, especially stories from people with lived experience of autism. I do hope things improve for you soon.
Mary Browne wrote on December 6th, 2008 at 10:08 am:
I think we have sold the unit (subject to finance), but at a big loss. The next problem is finding a place in our chosen suburb (Sydenham and other inner southern suburbs of Chch) that is both big enough and cheap enough. We really got swindelled by the first real estate agent. Thank you both for taking an interest enough to reply.
Mary Browne wrote on December 13th, 2008 at 2:38 am:
It gets worse. A couple of weeks ago, a woman put in an offer, and on Thursday, after seeing many dumps in the suburbs I wanted, I found what would be the ideal place. Yesterday, our lawyer rang and said the buyer couldn’t come up with the money. I am beyond distraught, and so guilty that my mother still doesn’t have her garden (and neither do I). I ran away, but my friend from our previous street persuaded me to go back for my parents’sake. I can’t afford to rent, and all of us can’t because of 4 cats. My parents are spending old age somewhere horrible, all because I thought a unit would be easier (this one isn’t) and I’d get a better social life as a result (I’m too far away to see anyone, and too busy watering plants, as it’s too hot in this street). Our poor roses need to be in a garden, not pots, the cats need more space, and my mother can’t back down the driveway and I can’t drive. I can’t get a council or state flat for myself because I have saved too much money, even though I am disabled. Can’t get Accomodation Supplement for the same reason, and if I rented in Christchurch, my savings towards getting another house would soon dwindle too much. I am trapped here. Two units up the road aren’t selling (this really is a dreadful cul-de-sac). The nearest dairy is a good 15 minutes away over a 60kph dual carriageway. There is noone to help us. At least with hospital you get let out eventually, to go HOME.
Fiona wrote on January 5th, 2009 at 8:04 pm:
There ought to be more understanding from social services, from the Ministry of Social Development. I do hope things get better for you Mary.
Mary Browne wrote on January 11th, 2009 at 11:24 am:
I have better news, the unwanted unit really looks to be sold, and we’re buying a new one in Somerfield, near where we used to live. I have personally lost $43,500 out of the experience, out of money I had saved up for 25 years. But I could not be stuck in this shopless place forever when I can not drive.
Mary Browne wrote on May 22nd, 2009 at 2:35 am:
Here is a very sad update. We have been in the new place for 3 months. It is a thousand times worse than the last one. My bedroom is tiny and faces a driveway, which is terrible, because I have a chronic pain condition, which means I spend some time lying on my bed. The garden is all in shade, so I worry about the roses I planted in it, and the driveway, which is the sunny bit, is not private from the awful front neighbour. I am not capable of choosing a house, but not eligible for things like Accomodation Supplement and Welcome Home Loan. Worst of all, I had a meltdown last night over what a dungeon the place was and how many years I could be facing in it. So this morning, my father is going to the lawyer to make sure I don’t get all the unit, which means if whatever accomodation like group home doesn’t work (and it probably wont), I will only be able to afford one bedroom upstairs. My father has no understanding of Aspergers Syndrome or my other disease, as he is old and cranky. I have noone to speak up for me.